why is it that when i set my heart to finally get something i've thought long and hard for, something bad spoils my plan. no size. why doesn't dr marts web has uk3 for the design i love. why is my foot so puny. why can't i have average-sized feet. like uk5 or something.

why why why. guys i'm so devastated right now you won't believe it. i know it's just a pair of shoes but it's honestly and seriously the prettiest pair of shoes i've ever seen and i've never wanted shoes this badly before. 2 months!! i've waited 2 months before i knew for sure i wanted it. because 150 bucks is not something i'll just throw away like that. WHYYYYYYYYYY.

on the side note, i finally got the perfect gift for my best friend. hehe it's beyond belated but better late than never right?

on another side note, i want to get a proper acoustic guitar.

but all depressing moods aside, i had a really good 1on1 time with bee today!! shopped with her for her guitar and all and it was so fun. and we just had a really good catch up. OH + there was this barista @ starbucks that looks a lot like aj rafael at the very first glance!! bee and i burst out laughing hahaha. yay to some girly time.

maybe i can try to find some comfort in this situation and be thankful that i managed to save that lump sum. i mean.... the amount i can buy with 150 @ f21 is crazy.

SOMEONE. SAVE ME.

PRETTIEST PAIR OF SHOES I'VE SEEN.

TWO MONTHS.

I WAITED TWO MONTHS AND NOW THIS IS ON SALE.

MORE TEMPTING THAN EVER.

I'M GOING TO CRY.

I WANT IT SO BADLY.

:'(

finally let it out.
this morning.
did i feel better?
maybe.

but let me just be done with lit review first. priorities. emotions should never hinder me from producing a work of standard. but my fellow classmates had theirs checked by their supervisors first... will mine be on par? pressure. 60% is not to be messed with. you fail, you fail.

just 8 and a half more hours till i'm out of this rubbish writing task for good.

God, i need You more.

working @ brownice.

chionging my lit review.

eating black pepper chips.

gulping water.

today is a tough day. i just want to hide in one corner and let God meet me and touch me. and just cry waterfalls out in His presence. i need Him to pull me through this period. it's been long since i even felt this close to Him. last night i couldn't let myself steer away from Him anymore. 

"for when our hearts were far away, Your love went further still."

thank You God.

never realised how much i needed You.

thank You for proving me wrong.

and now.................... when's the time for me?

God i'm tired of waiting for answers,

but tell me when You know it's best for me.

i'll be patient.
but i just hope i don't get too beaten up before i get to know what i want to know.

13th June.

haven't hung out with cell this much for a really long time. so much loveeeee. i'm starting to miss having cell in school. all those dinners and late night suppers on thursday nights. not very healthy, but it was such a great bonding. but now it's fine too. maybe because it's still the same people. some left, but new came. i hope the babies will be able to join us for other gatherings next time, i don't want them to feel left out or anything.

NP Cell - i appreciate every single one of you.

last year was crazy with my exam results and all, but thank you for supporting me, encouraging me, and just being with me throughout that very tough journey. i would have really fallen hard, SO HARD, and even walk away from God if it wasn't church and you guys to keep me grounded.

i've grown so much spiritually this past year.
thank You God.
thank You for this family.

tan telisha says:
"don't act cool with your moustache. you don't have the eyebrows to carry it off."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO.

lit review: so much burden

it's a lot tougher than i thought.

words after words after words.

my eyes are so terribly sore.

worked with qiqi today <3

tomorrow, war resumes.

here's to my special dad and sister, who were my guardian angels throughout my almost 19 years of life. the ones who sincerely cared about my well-being, who saw my ups and downs, who understand the best, and never left me to go through all my obstacles alone. my listening ears when needed, their comforting shoulders they lend, the most useful advices they give, the brightest smiles they wear. they are the reason why i'm happy. i'm fortunate to have a complete family.

"I don't care how poor a man is; If he has a family, he's rich."

- Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford

happy fathers' day and blessed 22nd!

haven't scrolled through my facebook timeline in AGES but i am doing so and i am very entertained.

this is such a pointless post hahaha but no, when i said pictures next time, i don't mean these. but i hope you guys were as captivated as i was with these humourous pictures. artists are so creative. respect.

why i am overjoyed today:

met my h&n babies after a long while (they learnt how to call sera jiejie now. best feeling in the world.)
mrs ho's mini birthday surprise hehe
harry potter exhibition that was so terribly bad but at least i had a good time out with my girlies
dinner @ astons

fulfilling day. my babies shriek at a note that i never knew was achievable in this world. but they are pure joy, and are so precious. my heart melts no matter how loud and piercing the noises (or should i say melody) they make are. they are gonna be such good sisters to baby marcus.

how i am to them now is exactly how i foresee them to be towards my kids next time. 10 years down the road. yes. cuteness overload. happiness overflowing.

pictures some over time, BYE.

reasons why i'm so happy this week:

1. EXAMS ARE OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
2. received my live tour dvd (GRINS)
3. finally back @ brownice!!! missed that place so much. (+ i bought a massive pack of granola hehe)
4. chlo came and visit me and we had an impromptu sleepover!!

HOLIDAYS ARE HERE. it has been a long wait, but so worth it. having some exciting plans upcoming! packed and fulfilling holidays i foresee. but with all fun, there's always serious business............. - FYP. the terror. i'm stoked to kick start our project, but knowing how important this whole assignment is in contribution to my grades...... i'm worried. BUT i have confidence in my group mates, and possibly myself. we can conquer this!! (i make such a good motivation speaker lol whut.)

thank You God for seeing me through all the blahhhssss, esp this week.

ONE FINAL PAPER. every feature on my face is exuding excitement. i've been waiting for this day for wayyyyy too long and it's finally here! nothing's going to ruin my day tomorrow. PURE JOYYYY.

dancing around my room,
strumming my guitar in random chords,
singing real loudly even if i'm not in tune,
I'M SO ECSTATIC I DON'T THINK ANYONE CAN UNDERSTAND.

and yes i do remember that i still have a paper tomorrow. but i can no longer contain this jubilance within me no more. YES AHHHHHHH.

bye guys i hope all of you are doing well, MWAH.

here's to the forever-frizzy-and-never-tamed hair.

FIRST PAPER DOWN. crestfallen. disappointed. could have done better. the paper was so manageable, but i could not bring the answers out. most of what i penned down was.... just nonsense. but what's over is over. good wake up call maybe? if only i learn. as if this has not happened before hahaha.

2 more papers and it's the long-awaited june break~ excited for all the plans i've made. so, to ensure nothing messes up my mood... I'VE GOT TO DO WELL FOR MY REMAINING PAPERS. such a good motivation for now.

not forgetting that i should really use this holiday to slim down because i'm nothing but a potato right now. so heavy i'm finding it difficult to lift myself to walk. and i'm not even exaggerating. i can feel the difference. i can SEE the difference. uh oh.

my week was painfully boring.

study study study.

just came back from an extremely lousy run.

snacking way more than supposed to.

personal matters unresolved.

study study study.

study study study.

exams start tomorrow, OH THE JOY.

 but on the brighter note: just another week more to temporal freedom~

and at least i met up with some of mah frenzzz here and there.

<3